May 2013
44 posts
squidwurd:
squidwurd:
i burn calories by insulting them
“hey calories your mom is ugly hahaha BURN!”
3 tags
jacklullaby:
jacklullaby:
unfollower:
men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day
OH MY GOD LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT
AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL’S ROOM
BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE
THEY SAID EXACTLY IT “BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS”
I’M NOT EVEN JOKING
gay porn has some of the best titles
werewolf-bowtie:
1 tag
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vvalruses:
yoitsmargaux:
vvalruses:
volkSWAGen
ohoho i see what you did there
oh thank god i thought no one saw that giant and bolded fucking word right there
3 tags
wankbankofamerica:
reasons i tend to not talk
people always interrupt me to tell another story because apparently my story isn’t good enough for their ears
i sound like an idiot who just learned to talk two hours ago
people seem disinterested in what i’m saying
i hate my voice
i have something really mean to say
i hate you
i repeat because this happens a lot: people interrupt me and never...
3 tags
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kanyewesticle:
I just want to thank pasta for being a part of my life
4 tags
Shadowhunter's guide to 'wooing' a girl
Herondale's: Make the girl become incredibly attracted to you. Then break her down by becoming her brother, or revealing you had a fake curse. Perhaps make her feel like shit for a while because you feel crap yourself. But all the while confusing her by having random hot make out sessions. When you find out that you're not siblings or that there is no curse, make things awkward again by becoming a servant to the girls real evil brother. Or by not avoiding the girl because she is getting married to your bestfriend. During all this the girl's love for you should only increase. Eventually everything will turn out just fine. You know, after suffering a ridiculous amount.
Lightwoods: Either order scones and hide them under your bed where they'll rot and stink up your room just to see the girl. To make the situation more awkward sate that the two of you will be married before she even knows. So you better quickly confess your feelings in a huge declaration of love. Or you could be sassy and state that the girls knife skills are a five, she will then proceed to go all sassy on your mouth and your sass filled relationship will be born.
Morgenstern: Either kidnap your x-wife and put her in a coma and try and kill her daughter a few times. Not to mention try and take over the world. Or be the evil big brother and try and rape your sister and steal her boyfriend. And also try and burn the world down. Girls like bad boys.
Carstairs: Propose to her. Girls like that.
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prouded:
Have you ever been so sad that you can’t even cry you just sit there and think about how sad you are
2 tags
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Mondays emotion: no
Tuesdays emotion: ugh
Wednesdays emotion: why
Thursdays emotion: omfg
Fridays emotion: finally
Saturdays emotion: yes
Sundays emotion: crying
1 tag
ronweasley:
I (h)ate everything, a novel by me.
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a-weeping-angel-just:
avoxes:
can finnick not die in the movie
they kept Peeta’s leg lets keep finnick
moriatea:
confessions-of-a-teenage-fitblr:
plot twist: santa actually brings you the naked celebrity you asked for and you have to awkwardly unwrap them in front of your entire family
#worth it
1 tag
3 tags
tylerfucklin:
can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you.
why would i want blank paper
2 tags
chanandlerb0ng:
“hey sorry i was busy” kidding i was watching my fave tv show and u interrupted rude
1 tag
stephenell:
eating food while waiting for your other food to be ready
black-veil-bridesmaid-f0rever:
thepoisons-inmy-vein:
histattoo:
what if concert tickets fell from the sky
maybe i’d go outside for once
maybe
i’d probably just open my window and put a net out.
1 tag
i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account
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lolatenenbaum:
did you know that months that begin on sundays will always have a friday the 13th?
or that coca cola would be green if food coloring wasn’t added to it?
or that more people are killed each year from bees than snakes?
or that camels have 3 eyelids?
or that you cant kill yourself by holding your breath?
or that there’s a city called Rome on every continent?
or that dolphins...
2 tags
callieohpeee:
when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died
April 2013
117 posts
1 tag
lampghost:
dont hate the player, hate the controller, this shit is broken i swear to god i jumped bro
2 tags
i'm flipping kris
chanyeol-inc:
kaiscrotch:
a fan messaged kris about channy’s English fail
“i no speak duh engrish, but i pray duh beeerrry nie kitah 4 yew”
